off-topic

Here’s the part where I start getting into some deep sh*t. If blogspot had a “cut” feature like Livejournal, I’d be using it, but for whatever reason it doesn’t so here’s my disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: This is probably a bit too much for anyone to read…so don’t read it if you don’t want to have your head explode. 

[yay for HR tags!]

So yeah. I don’t know how I’m going to tell this. 

Maybe I’ll just flat out say it, and not be nervous like I usually am.  I regret not trusting Ashley [my current girlfriend] back when we had our first fight [which was before we started dating].

Now, because I’m such a nice guy, I’m going to complete this post with much vagueness. Not only because I know you probably don’t want to read this, but because the guilty parties probably don’t want to read this. 

Before this argument took place there was a conversation between Ashley and I after she had returned from a birthday party which my ex and her best friend attended [I will call my ex A and her friend H]. The party, I was absolutely not allowed to attend, and I believed there to be other reasons for such. [I'm quite fun at parties] So, needless to say, I was feeling a bit melancholy, and I needed to talk to someone. Enter: Ashley. The casual chat turned to a extreme pouring of feelings about A and H’s relationship as well as my relationship to A, and possible secrets which were kept from me. Ashley and I’s opinions on the subjects actually had striking resemblances to each other. Naturally, I couldn’t completely let go of that BS element of love, but it was on the verge of leaving, due to the confirmation of me being “arm candy,” as I called it. [I won't go into the details of the conversation, quite gruesome actually]

Anyhow, this conversation apparently wasn’t a good thing for Ashley, and she shared it with a good friend of her’s through MySpace. A and H, unknowingly to us, had Ashley’s account information [they all used to be friends...another LONG story]. Due to that BS element of love, I was manipulated into believing that she had, instead of e-mailing it, posted it as a bulletin. This made me angry, because I didn’t want the world to know [huh, kinda defeats the purpose of writing this]. Basically, A and I fought for some time[with H laughing maniacally by her side], and I kinda yelled at Ashley, even though she told me that she definitely didn’t post any bulletin. 

I just regret not believing her then, because I know I’d be where I am now…happy.

I know there are a lot of people out there that will go by the motto “no regrets,” and I think that’s impossible. It is absolutely, completely, 100% impossible for a person, no matter what scene/subculture/cliche[click] they’re in, to not regret something. The only way a person couldn’t regret something is if they had absolutely no idea what impact they have on the world around them. 

I do regret more things than this one little event. Some may be even worse than this, but from anything I know, I do regret, and therefore, I am human. 

I would appreciate your comments below. Post something you regret.